I am literate and write well. I am organized, efficient, and I easily retain information.
I don’t often use big words and I don’t usually swear.
Dogs like me.
I can’t fly a plane but I know how to book cargo or set a person up for a pleasant vacation.
I’ve taught people, children mostly, despite the fact that I don’t have a teaching license.
I’ve cared for the elderly and those with developmental disabilities (I hate that categorization), but I don’t have current certification to prove it.
Once I fit a square peg into a round hole, though the square was a couch and the round hole was a doorway.
I’ve hung sheetrock, laid tile, rewired, and fixed toilets. I’ve hung doors. Admittedly, getting them to hang straight with the latch gliding smoothly over the strike plate to click quietly was more luck than skill. I’ve mowed lawns, shoveled snow, hauled dirt, laid patio stones. And I’ve painted. I’ve done lots of painting.
I can’t drive a bus and I don’t want to.
I understand english and spanish and french. I would say that I speak those languages but I’m really not much of a talker. Sometimes I speak in different accents.
I know how to prioritize tasks. For example, in order to make pancakes for my hungry household, first I have to wake up, brush my teeth, and start the coffee. Since I’ve used most the distilled water in the coffee pot, I’ll have to refill the distiller. Before I can do that, I need to empty the dishwasher so I can load it with last night’s popcorn bowls and milk cups that are in the sink. I’ll start the quinoa for the pancakes while I’m doing that and by the time it boils and simmers for a while, I can turn off the stove, turn my attention to Betty, who has been gazing at me this whole time, wondering when it will be her turn for a walk.
I do have an MFA in creative writing and I won a prize for my thesis. That’s just a bit of extra information.
I’m not naive and I like it when people are straightforward and honest. I’m not easily offended. If you maligned my kids in some way, that would offend me. Or if you gave me one cent as a raise, that would offend me.
So, if you or someone you know is looking for a person like me to fill a vacancy, send me a message. I will be like that machine that never breaks down, humming in the background.